


Undertale: Simon's Quest

by GyldenGlor



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5344205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GyldenGlor/pseuds/GyldenGlor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young man named Simon enters the Underground, and takes Frisk's place as the fallen human.</p>
<p>Swearing, sex jokes, puns, and a huge amount of sarcasm will not be uncommon. You've been warned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Ruins

**Author's Note:**

> Please Note: The title does NOT mean that this is a crossover between Undertale and Castlevania!
> 
> I called it this because the main character is named Simon, and I thought it would be funny to entitle the story after Castlevania 2.
> 
> Just a warning, the beginning of this isn't the best. That's because I've never been that good at writing beginnings - I promise though, this will be the worst writing in this whole story. I'll try to keep the quality above a certain threshold.
> 
> Also, I will refer to most of the characters using binary pronouns throughout the narrative. This does not mean that I am against non-binary genders, I just choose not to use them in this story because I'm lazy, and I don't care.
> 
> So, yeah. Make of that what you will.

There's a legend.

About a mountain.

A mountain that nobody comes back from, called Mount Ebbot.

And this kid, Frisk, wanted to check it out. But she's about ten, so I'm going instead of her, and I'm gonna snap pictures and record video for her.

 

Who's Frisk, you ask? Oh, she's a resident at an orphanage I volunteer at. And don't worry, I'll only be gone for a few hours, so the kids won't be alone for too long. The people that went missing probably just fell or something. Most of them were kids without adult supervision, anyway. And, I mean, the last time someone went missing there was about fifty years ago - whatever caused their disappearances is probably clear and easy to avoid.

 

Oh, hey, this part of the mountain is really flat. I mean, the entire mountain is pretty hiker-friendly, but this looks like someone cleaved off a layer and left it perfectly flat.

 

Wait...is that a hole? Is there a cave in this mountain?

 

I cautiously lean over to inspect, and notice that the shafts of light cast upon a solitary bed of flowers.

 

Wow, that's a deep hole. I'd better be careful not to –

I barely have time to acknowledge that the ledge I'm one has crumbled into the abyss before I'm pulled into darkness, too stunned to release a single vocalization of distress before a dull thud sends me into unconsciousness.

Which passes after some indeterminate period of time, as I slowly wake up and quickly realize that a few things don't make sense.

 

I remember the fall - I shouldn't be able to, I should have a concussion, but for some reason, I was spared such an injury. Was it the flowers..?

Nah, it couldn't have been the flowers, they're just flowers! Then...what broke my fall?

 

Shit, I'd better get out of here before Frisk starts looking for me - forget the oddness of the fall, this is more important. I don't want her getting hurt if she comes up here...

I look around for some sort of foothold or something I can climb, but the walls start far beyond the hole, meaning I wouldn't be able to climb back out. I guess I'd better find another way –

"Howdy! I'm Flowey the Flower!"

 

I spin around in shock, and when I see that nobody is there, I take an off chance and look down.

And there is a smiling, talking flower.

 

"Are you someone's familiar?" I ask, hoping that is the case. If a Mage has a familiar down here, I could get out...

"What? No, I'm a flower, you idiot," it responds, quite venomously.

"Okay, geeze," I mutter. "Well, uh..."  


"Flowey," the talking plant reminds me.  


"Flowey," I echo. "Do...do you know where I am?"  


"You're in the Underground! Land of the monsters!"  


I take a step back, shocked and disbelieving. All the history books...they had details on the Monster war, and how they were sealed away...how did I find a way into the Underground!? And, more importantly, why is there a way in!? Does that mean there's a way out!?  


"If you were a child, I'd have use for you!" Flowey interrupts my train of thought. Suddenly, it's cheerful face becomes sinister, and I realize that I've stepped into a boatload of trouble. "But since you're not...you're entirely useless!!"  


Small balls of energy begin to form in a circle around me, trapping me in. I remain frozen, still shocked by the revelation that I had fallen into the Underground.  


I...I just hope none of these monsters can escape through the hole I fell through.  


I resign myself to death as the bolts close in, threatening to kill me where I stand.  


And then I feel a strange surge of energy, as I realize what will happen if I die. Frisk will look for me, and the dipshits at that orphanage would let her. She would fall down here, and she would die.  


I feel a heat growing in my chest as I imagine the innocent young child being terrorized by these beasts. And it fills me with determination.  


I try to find a way under the energy bolts, but they move with me, approaching maddeningly slowly as the flower laughs at me from the ground. I clench my fists as they begin to close me in, my teeth clenched as I refuse to die, even as the energy begins to bite at my skin, eroding away layers of cells and causing me to gasp in pain. I struggle, but the energy somehow holds me in place.  


"Here's to hoping something useful comes down here," Flowey hisses. I glare at it, and realize that Frisk wouldn't die. Flowey would use her for whatever purposes it has in mind.  


My chest grows warmer as I envision her future, stolen by this beast. It grows painfully warm, and not just from the terrible pain of the onslaught of torture brought upon by the energy pellets that now eat their way into my flesh.  


"I will NEVER let that happen!" I roar, pressing against the energy as hard as I dare. My chest grows hot, and I think I can see a faint glow...  


"What are you doing?" Flowey asks, the demonic face replaced by a more irritated and confused expression.  


Just then, a red heart made of light bursts forth from my chest, leaving behind searing pain as it hovers ahead of me. The…flower attacking me seems infuriated, its face morphing and twisting as it glares at the strange heart.

 

“No! No, damnit – die!”  


I'm about to assume that I've won when Flowey releases a roar of indignation, and pellets appear before what is apparently my soul. I try to move to protect it, but before I can, white hot pain sears through my core as it is touched by the projectiles.  


"Now just hurry up and die! This is no fun anymore, I can't load or save!"  


I glare at Flowey, pain wracking my body as the energy bullets press against my body and soul even harder. As my vision swims, I manage to utter two words.  


"Fuck you."  


And then, nothing. The pan goes away in a flash of light and heat, and I collapse to the ground, panting as my raw skin bleeds and my damaged soul flutters down to my chest, before painfully merging back into my body as I lose consciousness. I'm vaguely aware of something that looks like a goat standing above me.  


What a day...  
\-----------------------------------------------  


I wake up to pain.  


Pain in…everywhere I can think of. In my arms, my legs, my chest, my head...it feels like I've been hit by a car...  


And yes, I know what that feels like, unfortunately.  


I force my eyes to open, and immediately recognize where I am: somewhere.  


I look around, and it becomes evident that I'm in a bedroom. I try to sit up, but it hurts, so I decide not to. I let out a groan of pain, which receives a gasp in response.  


A tall woman, covered in fur, hastily shuffles to my side, concern clear in her piercing red eyes.  


"Oh, you're awake! Thank goodness, I was afraid you had died!"  


I stare at her, uncomprehending. Wait, is it a she? I mean, it seems feminine, and it has a feminine voice...  


And wow, it looks a lot like a goat.  


"My name is Toriel," it informs me. I decide that it's female, given its high-pitches voice. "Please, don't try to get up, my magic only works so fast..."  


Magic...? Since when could familiars use magic of their own accord? I mean, she is a familiar, right?  


"Where-" I'm interrupted by a fit of coughing, and the pain shocks me back to reality. The hole, the flower, the pain...I'm in the Underground, the place where heroes banned the monsters centuries ago...  


"You're in my house," she responds. I blink, not really knowing what to make out of that.  


"In the ruins," she continues. "In the Underground. You fell through a hole."  


I nod, the memories already coming back. Kind of. "How?" I manage to ask, and only now does the absurdity of his start to sink in. I'm talking to a monster - a beast that was considered lost to time, and it seems as if it is downright pleasant.  


"There are holes everywhere," Toriel explains. "You can only enter through them, however. Trying to exit would tear your body apart."  


I nod. How...informative. At least now I know that that crazy flower can't get out...  


But Frisk can still get in!  


Toriel lets out a sigh as I try to sit up, and places a gentle, yet firm, furry hand on my chest, pushing me back down. I groan in protest.  


"There's a kid," I wheeze. "She...she'll be looking for me, she might fall into the same hole, I...I can't let that happen, that flower will...will USE her for something, I have to get out of here, I have to tell her not to -"  


"The only way out would require you to walk all the way to the capital," she informs me, infuriatingly calmly.  


"Then I'll walk," I growl. "I don't want her getting hurt!"  


"You'd have to kill a monster and take its SOUL to escape. And even then, it's probably a full day's walk."  


I sigh as my limbs go slack. Toriel frowns and walks away, tending to something on a nearby desk. I couldn't kill something, but even if it is a monster...and how would I tell Frisk? And a day's walk? She'd have fallen down here long before then...hell, I don't even know how long I've been unconscious for...  


The thought gives me pause. "How long was I unconscious?"  


"Two hours," comes the curt reply. Toriel seems upset with me, but I can't quite place my finger on -  


Two hours?  


"Fuck," I breathe. "Frisk is probably gonna start looking for me soon..."  


I'm startled as Toriel slams her hands on the desk, her head lowered and tail stiff. "Then why did you leave the child alone?"  


I blink in confusion. "Uh...what?"  


She turns on me, and she seems pissed. "You are the child's guardian, correct?"  


"Well...kinda, I guess, I mean...maybe?"  


"'Kinda'!?" She stomps closer, and I shrink a bit. "I hate people like you, refusing to take responsibility for children in your care!”

 

I try to sit up so I can properly defend myself against her accusations, but end up cringing as I move too fast, causing my ribs to ache horribly. I lay back down with a sigh as Toriel rolls her eyes. “I didn’t think I’d fall into the Underground,” I grumble. “I was going up the mountain so that she wouldn’t. And besides, she wasn’t alone – she lives in an orphanage, I just volunteer there.”

 

Toriel’s expression softens, and she looks down as she gently smooths out the pleats in her dress…thing. She looks back to me with a frown. “Why would she come to the mountain in the first place?”

 

I shrug, which hurts. “There’s a legend about the mountain – everybody who goes up there goes missing. She wanted to climb it and look, because, you know…she’s a curious kid. But I decided to go instead, and told her I’d take pictures with my phone…” I sigh as I close my eyes, a headache starting to form on the fringes of my skull. “Now I guess that’s a moot point, though…we’re both gonna be stuck down here, soon.”

 

Toriel begins to say something, but a light, mechanical ding interrupts her. She stands, and excuses herself as she hurriedly leaves the room. I hear her fumbling about with something, and watch in curiosity as she comes back into the room, holding a small pot filled with green goop. She sits down next to me, and sticks a wooden spoon into the slosh. It smells…oddly pleasant.

 

“This is made from Vegetoid extract,” she informs me. “It will help you heal faster…and since you’re a human, it may heal you instantly, since it’s mostly magic.”

 

I nod, and try to reach for the spoon. She stops me, and gently raises the spoon to my head, placing a hand on the base of my neck to help me keep my head elevated. I sip the mixture, and find it tastes better than I thought it would.

 

Wow…that tasted really good, actually. Like…electric, almost. Like it’s…coursing through my veins, as if it’s –

 

“Ah! You’re healed!”

 

I sit up in surprise, and find that it does not hurt at all. “Son of a bitch,” I mutter. I give her a weak smile, as I still feel slightly woozy and weak. “Thanks, Toriel.” I sigh as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. She starts bustling around with the soup, seemingly disappointed that she made so much and needed so little. I stand, and sigh as I realize that I’m still no closer to helping Frisk.

 

“I usually check every day to make sure nobody’s fallen down that hole,” Toriel informs me, seemingly sensing my distress. “But I’ll check in about an hour, just to be sure. Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

 

I nod, and thank her again. She smiles sweetly before leaving the room, and I brace myself before standing. I feel dizzy for a moment, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.

 

I look down at my clothes, and realize that they’re in perfect condition. Strange. Either Toriel changed me, or magic doesn’t affect clothing.

 

After a few moments, I decide to take a look around the house. There’s not much to see, and I decide not to enter the other bedroom – privacy and whatnot. I eventually find Toriel in the kitchen, pouring the soup into a plastic container.

 

“Can I help?” I inquire, feeling slightly guilty for just standing around.

 

“Oh!” She looks up, slightly startled. “I didn’t even hear you come in…” She chuckles to herself as she snaps the container’s lid on, and puts it in the fridge. “No, you should take some time to adjust. I bet it must be a shock, to see such things…”

 

I shrug. “Honestly, it’s not too shocking.”

 

She pauses as she places the pot into the sink, turning to look at me in confusion. “Excuse me?” She crosses her arms across her chest, giving me an inquisitive stare. “I…I don’t understand, how are you not surprised by meeting monsters? And magic? If you were a child, I’d understand, but…”

 

“Well, we know about monsters on the surface,” I reply. “The war between our kind is well-documented, and there’s a lot of details on how they sealed you all away down here. But any references to the location of the Underground had been completely removed, so that nobody would actively seek it out in an attempt to make a monster army.”

 

“Well, they’d have a hard time with that,” she replies as she pulls on a pair of gloves, and turns to begin washing the pot with a sponge. “Monsters are very peaceful.”

 

“Yeah, it mentions that in some of the history books,” I reply. “But only a few of them – especially the ones written by people that protested the war. I’m honestly surprised that the text was so well-preserved, it was at least five hundred years ago.”

 

“Is that so?” She asks, seemingly focused as she tries to get something stubborn off of the pot.

 

“Yeah. It said the main reason humans fought monsters was because of fear of some ability that monsters have. It wasn’t very clear, though.”

 

She pauses, seemingly contemplating whether or not to fill me in on this ability, before turning with a sigh. “Monsters can take human souls to become stronger.”

 

I jerk my head back slightly, taken aback by the revelation. “What?”

 

“But no monster in their right mind would have ever attempted it,” she continues, before turning back to her dishes. “Humans are so much more powerful than monsters…which is part of why they beat us so easily.” Another sigh escapes the muzzle of the motherly, anthropomorphic goat. “It’s just…fear transforms humans so radically. We had lived in peace for hundreds of years before the war.”

 

The magnitude of what she’s said sinks in. “Hold on…how old _are_ you, Toriel?”

 

She casts a cocked eyebrow at me with a small smirk. “It’s rude to ask a lady her age, you know.” I begin to apologize, but she laughs it off. “Oh, don’t worry – I’m far past worrying about people knowing my age. I’m 754.”

 

“Wow,” I respond. “So…you’ve seen quite a lot, haven’t you?”

 

She nods solemnly. “Yes…I have.”

 

For a moment, I’m intrigued. What is the upper limit of a monster’s memory? If a human can only remember so much in terms of long-term, how much could a monster remember?

 

I’m about to ask, when a loud knocking cuts me short. Toriel seems to brighten up immediately, and checks her clock. “Oh, it’s that time already?” She asks herself, clearly excited. Without another word, she practically sprints out of the kitchen. I follow her in confusion, expecting her to go to the front door, but instead, she flies down the stairs, a blush creeping across her face. I shake my head as I decide to give her privacy – I don’t want to see what could make a 754 year old goat blush.

 

Instead, I decide to step outside and take a look around. When I look up, I see a brilliant light, and realize that it’s the sun.

 

Wait…

 

I’m in a cave.

 

So that’s not a sun.

 

I look again, shading my eyes from the harsh light, and realize that it must be artificial. I…I don’t even have a remote idea of how that could be done, however.

 

I look away as a door opens, and Toriel steps out, smiling broadly. “What was that all about?” I ask, immediately regretting the question.

 

“A friend knocks on the door down there and tells me wonderful jokes,” she replies.

 

“Door?”

 

“Yes, the door that leads out of the Ruins – the one that you’ll go through to find the way out, once your friend gets here.” She looks towards the artificial sun that I had been admiring, understanding that’s why I came out here.

 

“How does that thing exist?” I ask, perplexed.

 

“It’s powered by a giant reactor,” she replies. “It’s called the CORE. It sits within a sea of lava.”

 

“Huh.”

 

I admire it for a moment more before stretching and looking around. “This place is really quite pretty,” I inform her. “I’m glad Frisk will be staying here – I’m sure she’ll be safe with you.”

 

She smiles warmly. “Thank you. Speaking of which, I think it’s about time I go check…” She pulls back the sleeve of her robes (that’s what they are! Robes! Not a dress-thing!) and reveals an unexpectedly sleek, chromium watch. I raise my eyebrows, and she frowns at me.

 

“It’s a nice watch. Don’t judge me.”

 

“Oh, I’m not, trust me,” I reply with a sheepish smile.

 

“Well…I think I’d better go check,” she redirects the conversation with a sigh. She reaches into her pocket, and pulls out what looks like a cell phone.

 

She hands it to me, and – what d’you know? It’s a cell phone!

 

“I’ll call you if I find her,” she informs me.

 

“I already have a cell phone,” I inform her.

 

“It probably won’t work down here,” she reminds me. I nod as I open the phone she’s supplied and ask for her number.

 

“I’ve already put it in,” she explains. “And I have you under…” Toriel trails off, seemingly surprised as she looks at me with a perplexed frown. “I never asked your name, young man.”

 

I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. I’ve fallen into a world forbidden to humans that had been assumed was lost to time, attacked by a flower, and saved by a motherly goat.

 

The small smile that she wears is a clear sign of her relief that I’m not offended. I hold out my hand as I introduce myself.

 

“I’m Simon. Nice to meet you, Toriel.” She takes my hand in a gentle, furry handshake.

 

Honestly, that still kind of creeps me out. That she’s covered in fur. I mean, I knew monsters existed, and I’ve seen familiars before, but…I never imagined meeting an actual monster.

 

Also, why doesn’t she have hooves? And why is her fur so soft – it feels like a plush blanket… These are questions for later, I’m too tired to contemplate monster biology.

 

“Likewise, Simon,” she replies, pretty much beaming. Our handshake relinquishes, and she quickly types my name into her phone before turning to leave so she can look for Frisk.

 

“I’ll be back soon, Simon,” she calls over her shoulder. “Call me if you need anything.”

 

“Okay, see you later,” I reply, instinct making me take a quick glance at her backside as she walks away. She is…unexpectedly (and unnervingly) plump. And a goat.

 

I watch her depart for a moment before returning to the bedroom I woke up in, and laying down for a much-needed nap. I smile to myself for a moment, marveling at how I’ve met such a quirky, lovable monster…

 

But as with all things, there are two sides to this coin. It flips to tails, and dread begins to creep into the fringes of my heart, tainting my thoughts as I envision what Frisk will encounter when she arrives – and what I will have to deal with while searching for an exit.

 

As I drift to sleep, my dreams are consumed by darkness, monsters that hadn’t plagued me since I was a young child reaching out from under the bed to seed tendrils of doubt and fear in my mind…

\-----------------------------------------------

 

Ring, ring...  


I bolt upright, having never fallen completely asleep as I snatch up the mobile phone Toriel gave me. I check the caller ID out of habit, and flick the phone open with a roll of my eyes as I press it to my ear.  


"Hello?"  


"I found the child," comes the sweet, motherly response. "We're on our way back now, okay? It might be a little while, though."  


"Alright. Just...be gentle with her. She's...dealt with a lot."  


"You have no reason to worry, Simon."  


"Oh, and, uh, Toriel?"  


"Hm?"  


"Thank you."  


"There's no need to thank me! Just make yourself comfortable while we make our way back, we'll be there soon." We say out goodbyes, and as she hangs up I can faintly hear in the background "come, my child" before her phone abruptly clicks shut, ending our contact.  


I smile as I lie back down, a weight relieved from my shoulders. I fall into a small, comfy nap. God, I love sleeping.  
\-----------------------------------------------  


I wake up to the sound of a door opening, and a small child giggling. I grin as I launch out of the bed, and immediately make my way to the entryway of the home.  


Toriel smiles at me, and Frisk beams at me, immediately running over and hugging my legs.  


"Hey, Frisk!" I awkwardly hug her back, as I can't bend my knees with her arms around my legs. "What's up?"  


She casts a nervous glance towards Toriel before releasing me from her embrace and tugging on my sleeve. I kneel down, and she whispers what happened in my ear. Toriel remains silent and understanding.  


From what she's told me, it seems as if the monsters here are really nice. So nice, in fact, that all she had to do was talk to them to get them to stop fighting. And there was a...  


"A spider bake sale?" I ask, incredulously. She nods with a smile. "That sounds amazing!"  


She giggles, and Toriel clears her throat. "Well, I'd best see to the kitchen. Why don't you two catch up?" She smiles sweetly as she turns and quickly makes her way into the kitchen. Frisk grabs my hand and tugs me along, informing me that she wants to show me the spider bake sale.  


We leave the house, and I marvel at the strange beauty of the place. It has a…charm to it. It's not that far away, and there's a sign that says "all proceeds go towards real spiders". All that is offered is Spider Donuts and Spider Cider, and all Frisk has to do is chuck some small coins into a web. A spider comes down, carrying a small donut in a net-shaped web, giving it to Frisk before collecting the gold in the same net and darting away.  


She offers it to me, and I notice two things.  


"Hey, are those coins...gold?"  


Since we're pretty much alone, Frisk feels comfortable enough with speaking aloud, informing me that it is, in fact, gold, and is the currency down here. I'm pretty much floored by that, and imagine how much money they'd actually be worth.  


And also, the sign says "made with real spiders".  


"Uh...is this donut...made from spiders?" I ask, nauseated.  


Frisk shrugs, and offers the donut again, a bit more strongly. I sigh as I accept it, and take a tentative bite out of the pillowy confection.  


"Huh," I manage around the food in my mouth. "It's really good!"  


Frisk smiles again, and takes my hand again, leading me back towards Toriel's house. As we walk, a small creature steps in our way. It seems to be crying.  


Frisk pushes me towards it, telling me to try to make a friend. I smile, and oblige by saying hello to the small...thing.  


It sniffles, and I feel the same burning sensation I had when I encountered that demonic flower...thing. After a second, a red heart bursts from my chest in a shower of light, and small projectiles start flying towards it.  


I remain transfixed for a moment, before a projectile hits it, and I feel a surge of pain. I try to grab the heart to avoid it being damaged, but it moves with my motions, staying just out of reach. I decide to use this to move the heart, making it avoid the different projectiles, sweating as I frantically lean and squirm to get the heart out of the way.  


"What the hell!?" I demand, the creature remaining still and sniffling. I prepare to lash out at it, but Frisk grabs me.  


"No!" She exclaims. I hesitate, and she approaches the thing, a small red heart bursting from her own chest. She moves close, and whispers something to the creature. It sniffles, and then runs away crying, leaving behind some of the Underground currency.  


"What'd you say to it?" I ask as Frisk pockets the gold.  


"That it didn't need to be afraid," Frisk replies, quietly.  


That's right - she said that if you just talk to these things, they'd stop wanting to fight. "So, they're just lashing out in fear?"  


She nods, but tells me that some are just frustrated and need a friend. I smile at that, and decide that from now on, I'm not going to hurt any of these poor creatures.  


"Frisk? Simon!" Toriel calls out from her lawn, catching our attention. "I have something for you!"  


I smile at Frisk, and we walk back together, and I smile at the small creature that had attacked earlier as it hides behind a small statue.  


"Sorry," I call out, following Frisk into the home.  


"I've made butterscotch cinnamon pie," she announces. "I've decided to hold off on the snail pie for now."  


Frisk and I nod eagerly, and we all gather in a small reading room and sit around a small table as we eat huge slices of delicious pie with small utensils and small dollops of whipped cream.  


Once that is over, Toriel clears her throat. "So, Simon, it's time you tell Frisk what your plan is."  


I'm confused for a second, before nodding in understanding and turning to Frisk.  


"You're going to stay with Toriel for a little while," I gently inform the child. She pouts, and whispers a question to me.  


"Yes, that means I'm leaving," I confirm. Her pout deepens. "I'm going to find a way out, and once I have, I'll come back here and bring you home with me, okay?"  


Toriel seems disheartened for a moment, but simply nods to Frisk. "And there is a way out," she informs the child. She looks up to me. "Simon, it's not a short trip. You should leave as soon as possible, and...we'll have to talk before you go."  


I nod, and a solemn silence passes before I decide that it's time to get going - after all, the sooner the better, right? I inform Frisk, and she nods, a smile of understanding gracing her cute, innocent face.  


After giving me a backpack and a slice of her butterscotch cinnamon pie in a small plastic container, Toriel leads me downstairs, firmly instructing Frisk to remain in her room until she returns.  


We come across a large, foreboding door. She falls unusually silent.  


"The only way for you to escape would be to kill Asgore, and use his soul to pass through the barrier."  


I stare at Toriel in confusion. “You already told me this, Toriel. I don’t want to, but…it might be necessary. And you know that.”  
  
"Yes, but…that is only enough for one human to leave. For Frisk to leave, she would have to...kill another boss monster, on her own, and absorb the soul." Tears begin to fall from her eyes, and the denizen of the ruins turns to me, and says:  


"That is why I must ask you...to let Asgore take your soul."  


"What!?"  
  
"It is up to you," she quickly replies. "It disgusts me that I would ever suggest this, but...if the seventh human soul can be obtained peacefully -"  


“Seventh!? You mean this Asgore has already slaughtered six other humans!?"  


"Please, just-do not hate me!" She grabs me by the shoulders, and stares deep into my eyes. "If you want Frisk to escape without having to kill a monster, this is the only way!"  


I brush her hands aside. "And you expect me to give up my soul?" I demand, growing furious.  


"No, I-" she looks away, clasping her hands before her as she turns away from the door, avoiding my glare. "I don't know what to expect. But I do know that...for Frisk and yourself to leave, two monsters must die. If you break the barrier, not only would you avoid that, but you would free all monsters..."  


"And who says I want to free the monsters?" I immediately ask. She turns to me, her eyes wide with...I can't tell, honestly. "What guarantee do I have that the monsters wouldn't go on a murderous rampage once they're released?"  


"But...you've seen the monsters here!"  


"Yeah, in the ruins, but not anywhere else," I protest. "How do I know they won't try to destroy humanity?"  


She casts her gaze to the floor, and releases a heavy sigh. "You don't," she admits. A moment of silence passes, and I turn to the door. Grasping the handle, I begin to pull it open.  


"What will you do?" Toriel asks.  


"I don't know," I admit. "But I'll figure it out."  


I'm about to finish opening the remarkably heavy door – like, seriously, this door is crazy heavy – when Toriel speaks again. "Then I have a...request."  


I turn to her. "Lady, I've about had it with your requests. I’ll see if there’s some sort of alternative, but – "  


"Meet as many monsters as you can," she interjects before I can continue. "Then...when you've met them all...decide whether or not releasing them would be worth it for yourself."

 

I remain silent, holding the door open enough for me to walk through. "I make no promises," I finally respond after a long while.

With that, I step through the door, letting it slam shut behind me as I enter a small, dark room. A patch of light illuminates a flower patch in front of me. A second door stands across the room, promising release from this darkness, and into the unknown.


	2. Snowdin, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon enters Snowdin, and meets our favorite boneheads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for reference: when I'm writing this, I imagine Sans and Papyrus having the voices that Ross and Barry gave them when they played Undertale on Steam Train.
> 
> If you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up. It might be important to how the characters in this speak.
> 
> Also, I spaced out Papyrus's words a bit - the font is kinda hard to read. Sorry.
> 
> And if you don't have comic sans on whatever you're reading this on. Some of the text might look a bit weird.

The incredibly heavy door closes behind me, and I'm left in near total darkness. A flower patch lies before me, the same kind of flowers I landed on, and a door is at the other end of the small cavern.  
I step around the flowers, not wanting to destroy the well-kept plants. I'm about to open the second heavy door (seriously, what's with the heavy doors?) when a shrill, recognizable voice pipes up from behind me.

"So, you're really gonna do it, huh? Kill Ass-gore, take his soul, escape, yadda yadda…"

I'd like to say that I give some witty retort. However, what I really do is let out a yelp of fear, and slam my back against the door, hoping to find a way out before realizing that I just backed myself up against it.

"I'm not going to bother attacking you," it informs me, nonchalantly. "Because now...you could be of some use to me."

I relax a bit, but I don't trust this fucking flower. Never thought I'd have to say that. Never thought I'd be in the Underground. A lot of firsts for me today.  
Moving away from the door, but not taking my eyes off the little demon, I begin to pull it open. And it is fucking HEAVY. In fact...it won't even budge!  
Flowey laughs at me, and I take a moment to turn around to see what's going on. I start to tug more frantically, my palms growing sweaty as-

"It's a push door, you idiot."

...

I push, and it opens, letting in a frigid breeze and bright light.

"Uh...thanks, I guess?" I turn to look at the flower, but it's already gone.

Good riddance. I nearly pissed myself there.

I calm myself with a deep breath as I walk through the push door, snow crunching under my feet and-

OH GOOD LORD IT IS COLD AS BALLS!!

Nope. No way am I walking into that snowy forest without a winter coat. Maybe I could skin Toriel and make a nice fur coat...

Hah! Dark humor. But seriously, I should go back and ask Toriel for a coat.

Yet another HEAVY FUCKING DOOR later, I'm shivering my way into Toriel's reading room. She looks up at me in surprise.

"D-do you have any coats?" I ask, my teeth still chattering. "It's c-cold as hell out there..."

"Stand still, please," she sighs. She snaps her fingers, and -

HOLY FUCK FIREBALLS AHHHH-

Ah. They went inside of me. And they feel...nice. "Thanks," I announce.

"Don't mention it," she replies, not looking up from her book. She's clearly still salty over our previous exchange.

I sigh as I decide to tell a ~~small white~~ lie in order to placate the poor woman. Goat. "Look, I'll...I'll do what you asked, okay? I'll meet as many monsters as I can, and...then I'll make my decision. Promise."

She smiles at me over her book. "Thank you, Simon. Now, you should get going before Frisk comes in and thinks you're back to stay - wouldn't want to give her false hopes, now, would we?"

I smile and nod, and leave with a final thanks.

And two. More. HEAVY. ASS. DOORS. Why are these doors so heavy!? They're clearly wood, and they're not large enough to weigh that much!

Whatever. Not my problem. Actually, it is my problem, and I will probably lose sleep over it.

Either way, I'm glad I won't be so cold out here. Hey, look, a bridge! Looks like someone tried to build a gate across it. It's probably too big to stop anyone though, and-

Oh my God I can hear something breathing behind me.

"don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

I look over my shoulder, but whatever is behind me must be short. Or camouflaged. Or a giant with a thigh gap larger than my peripheral vision. There are a lot of possibilities.

"turn around, and shake my hand."

I let out a small, completely manly squeal of delighted surprise as I turn around and stick out my hand.

Bones take my hand, and I feel a bit disturbed for a second, but it feels oddly fleshy, like-

PHHHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBFFFFFFTTTT

"ah, the good old whoopie cushion in the palm trick!"

I finally get a look at my, uh...new pal. He's a skeleton, and he's very short. Well, not that short - he's about up to my elbows. If it is a he.

"name's sans. 'ice to meetch'ya."

I smile at the pun. "Because of the cold," I nervously state. He just smiles at me. Well...he's a skeleton, the fuck else would he do?

"...yeah. anyway, this is new."

I cock my head to the side, thoroughly confused. "Huh? Well, of course it’s new, we’ve never met – right?”

"usually it's a kid, but this time..." The skeleton continues, ignoring what I have to say. He looks me in the eye, and his left eye gains a slight blue tint. "now, i don't know what to expect. i hope it's a good time though."

I frown at...Sans, I think he said his name is? Yeah, Sans. "The hell are you on about?"

He shrugs. "i dunno. anyway, i don't care much for capturing humans. but watch out for my brother, papyrus - he's a human capturing fanatic."

I nod, registering what he's saying, but not understanding it fully. I'm mostly focused on the way he's saying it, because the way he's speaking is...strange. As if he's rehearsed the lines...

"So...what does that mean for me?" I ask, growing wary of Sans's presence.

"just go on through, kid. uh, guy. my bro papyrus made that gate too big to stop anyone, anyway."

"Uh-huh..." I mutter. I turn and walk over the bridge. I look back once I've crossed it, and he's already gone.

Spoopy.

Anyway, I think I’d better keep going.

I instinctively hunch my shoulders as I continue walking through the snow, expecting the cold to come biting back any second. But Toriel’s fire sees to it that I’ll remain warm…

Speaking of Toriel…I’m glad I made that promise to her. I mean, it was still a lie, because I'm not even considering giving up my soul for monsters, but...at least she has a temporary peace of mind. And I have a clear conscience, not leaving our last interaction cold and vicious like it had almost been…

“hey, guy. what took ya’ so long?”

“Jesus-” I jump back from the skeleton, who is currently standing behind what looks like a hotdog stand. “How did you…”

Sans shrugs. “doesn’t matter. what matters is that my brother is on his way right now.” He steps out from behind the hotdog stand, and approaches me. “i suggest you hide behind that conveniently-shaped –” He falls silent, pointing at a lamp that seems as if it’s in the same exact shape as Frisk. I glance at him, my trust in him starting to sputter and die.

“right…anyway, maybe you should hide behind the hotdo-i mean, the sentry post.”

I glance it over, and nod in agreement. I hear Sans faintly mutter something about needing new "props", whatever that means...  
Within a moment, I'm crouched down behind the hotdog stand. I don't care what Sans says, this is very clearly not a sentry post.

"SANS!" God that voice...it's like a knife! Well, probably just because the owner is shouting.

"oh. hey, bro. what's up?"

"HAVE YOU SEEN ANY HUMANS?" I assume that the owner of that voice must be Sans's brother, which would make it Papyrus.

"nope. quiet day as usual."

"WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU WOULDN'T MIND RECALIBRATING YOUR PUZZLES?"

"sorry, pap, but i'm bone tired."

I snicker lightly at that, but stop myself. I see Sans cast a quick glance at me, but I can't read his expression. I shrug to him in a sort of apology.  
I think I might be starting to trust him a bit more - casually making puns is an art form that is mostly reserved for trustworthy people.  
Also, I really like puns.

"SANS! THIS IS SERIOUS! WHAT IF A HUMAN ARRIVES!? HOW WOULD I IMPRESS UNDYNE THEN!?"

"aww, c'mon bro. lighten up. i thought it was pretty...humerus."

I snicker again, a little giggle escaping. Sans casts another glance at me, and I can see a bit of pride.

"WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?" Papyrus asks. I hear his feet crunching the snow as he looks around.

"probably the wind. If anyone or anything had come by, I would've seen it. Probably."

"AH. WELL, AT ANY RATE, THIS IS NO TIME TO BE MAKING BAD JOKES!"

"aww, c'mon, paps - stop ribbin' me!"

I let out a small shriek of laughter, and immediately clamp my hands over my mouth. Sans glares at me with a mixture of self-pride, confusion, and irritation.

"OKAY, THAT WAS NOT THE WIND!" I hear Papyrus approaches the hotdog sentry post. "SHOW YOURSELF!"

I sigh to myself. I'm not about to try my luck with some kind of bounty hunter, chances are he's capable of finding me very easily.

I stand up, hands above my head as I bear a sheepish grin. "Hey," I mutter. I cast a glance at Sans, and decide to cover for the poor pile of bones - his brother seems to be a bit more than enthusiastic about capturing humans.  
"Your, uh...your brother was sleeping by that gate, so I snuck past him and hid behind here when I heard you coming."

While I'm standing here, I get a good look at this "Papyrus". He's a skeleton, as well, but much taller than his brother, and much more lithe...oddly enough.  
But I gotta admit, he really does rock that outfit. He looks bad-ass, actually.

"Of course he was. He always sleeps on the job!" He shoots a pointed glance at Sans. The huskier skeleton shrugs. "So, what are you, anyway? I've never seen a monster like you."

"bro, I think that's a human."

I glare at Sans. So, what, I cover for him and he just goes and blows it for me!?  
I'm about to confront him when Papyrus pipes up.

"OHMYGOD, A REAL HUMAN! QUICK, I'LL GO GET THE PUZZLES READY - YOU STALL IT!"

"Puzzles?" I ask, stopping Papyrus in his tracks as he's about to run away.

"well...yes. how else would i stop a human?"

I stare at Papyrus, incredulous at his innocence. I look to Sans, who simply smiles at me. "my bro is the coolest, isn't he? he makes awesome puzzles. i don't think you'll be able to solve them."

I return my dumbfounded stare to Papyrus, who nervously smiles. "What? do you not like puzzles?"

"No, no - that's not it, I'm just...I'm surprised you'd think a puzzle is the best way to stop a human," I respond.

"well, puzzles are our solution to everything. monsters have nothing else to do down here, so we just build puzzles for each other to solve. we got so good at it that we made it our security. my bro's the best at it, though."

"no, the best puzzlmaker is Alphys! Undyne got her to make an incredible puzzle for me, the great Papyrus!" He turns, clasping his hands as he looks to the heavens. "Oh, when undyne finds out I captured a human, i'll be indicted to the royal guard! and then i'll be so...so...popular!!!! nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh!!!! And then, I'll finally be cool! And I'll have so many friends!"

At that moment, while I watch Papyrus fawn over the idea of being popular, I see so much... _humanity_ within him that something inside of me just...clicks.  
A silly grin makes its way across my face, and I find myself genuinely liking and admiring this skeleton, whose motives are so...innocent. He just wants to make friends. And capturing me is the best way to do that...which kinda sucks, because I am not being captured.  
I mean, he's so naïve, I may be able to fool him...but let's save that for later. I want to find a better plan first.

"and after that, undyne will take you to Asgore! and, uh...I don't know what will happen next. maybe you'll have tea?"

I see a brief flicker of sadness play across Sans's face. Clearly, Papyrus is far too innocent to consider that a human would ever be killed because he managed to capture them.  
Wait, fuck all that monologue stuff and shit about seeing Papyrus as human - I am having an idea!  
If this Undyne would just bring me to Asgore, it might be the best way for me to get out of here! Of course, I'd have to figure out a plan to get away from this "Undyne" character, and then find a way to kill Asgore - or maybe find some alternative that I can use to get Frisk out? Maybe I could kill Asgore, take his soul, and get Frisk out while I stay to deal with the fallout?  
No, that's a terrible idea - I wouldn't just shove Frisk into the world alone. Maybe I should try to find some alternative...?  
I mean, there's no way in hell I'm giving up my soul - nor is there any way I'm considering it. But maybe I could make people believe that, so they let their guard down and I can get away easier...

I take a deep breath as I look Papyrus in the eye...sockets. There's a pun to be made somewhere in there, but I can't find it. Just like I can't find his eyes. Because he's a skeleton.  
I think I'm going to stop trying to be funny now.  
"I surrender," I announce. Sans's eyes widen, and Papyrus's mouth falls open a bit.

"Wha-what?"

"I surrender," I repeat, moving out from behind the hotdog stand as I begin to spin a web of lies. "You don't have to bother with the puzzles - you've bested me. I give up. Just...go ahead and capture me, or whatever."

Papyrus grins excitedly, and turns to speak with Sans. I remain in silence, and realize that I could probably run like, right now. They're too absorbed in their conversation to notice me.  
After a while, Papyrus turns to me with a nod, and announces that he and his brother will be escorting me back to Snowdin, and passing by the puzzles I would have gone through on the way.

"I warn you human - the great papyrus made these amazing puzzles! just upon seeing them, you may become so terrified that your heart stops beating!" He turns to me with a frown. "Please tell me if you feel any pain in your chest. I wouldn't want an admirer of the great papyrus to be hurt! Nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh!!"

"isn't my brother the coolest? By the way, don't try to run, or you'll be...boned."

"focus, sans!"

I can't help but smile at the exchange, even as Papyrus produces a leather brace from...somewhere, and starts to bind my hands with it. I can at least take comfort in the fact that he has no bodily orifices, meaning that there was no chance of that restraint being anywhere...unsavory.

"yeah, if you run, I'd really hate...tibia."

"sans, stop!"

"sorry, bro. i just felt like we should warn the guy. y'know, don't want to catch him by...supy-rus!"

"Sans!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ah, this is gonna be a fun trip. Plus, I'm pretty sure that it will be exceedingly easy to fool that "Undyne" person - assuming that they has the same attention span and intelligence as these two numb-skulls.  
Heh...numb-skulls. Because they have no neurological system and are therefore unable to process pressure applied to their body which can be perceived as numbness.  
And they're skeletons. I'm funny, shut up.  
Well, whatever. I think I'd better keep my mouth shut for now and try to make a plan for what I'll do next...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think in the comments below, and please tell me what I could improve!
> 
> Also, I'm trying real hard to make Simon as human as possible, so that might include some stupidity. Just a fair warning.


	3. Snowdin, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon meets Undyne, and his quest begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned: this chapter is kind of padding-filled. Just innocent bull and malarkey between characters, but I wouldn't skip it. Character development can be important.

”and this is where you’ll be staying until Undyne comes for you, human!”

I take a deep breath to prepare myself as I nod, and step into the caged area inside of the…garage? Shed? Whatever, all that matters right now is that I’m in a cage.  
After I step in, Papyrus closes the gate and locks it. After giggling giddily at the prospect of having “captured” a human, he departs, telling his husky brother to follow.

”I’ll be right there, bro.” After the door to the small building I’m confined in closes, the skeleton turns to me and slowly approaches the cage, his eternal smile remaining plastered on his face. I smile in return, but after a moment, his smile makes me feel slightly uncomfortable.  
”You think you’re real smart, don’tcha?” I raise an eyebrow, attempting to feign ignorance as I ask what he’s talking about. I don’t like where this is going.  
”You know exactly what I’m talking about, guy. But, whatever. I just want to give you some advice.” He takes a step closer to the bars, and I take a step back. ”Don’t mess with Undyne. Don’t mess with Papyrus. And don’t mess with anyone else. Because if you do…” His eye starts glowing blue, and his other pupil fades into black. I swallow my fear.  “You’re gonna have a bad time.”

After a few seconds of staring me down with his glowing eye, his smile returns to its usual friendly shape, and he closes his eye, taking away the fear that had permeated throughout the room. ”Got it, buddy? Anyway, get some rest. You’ll need it for dealing with Undyne. She’s, uh…quite a handful. See ya’.” With that, he quickly turns and leaves, and I’m left alone in my cage. The door to the shed locks with a loud click, and I sit on the small dog bed in the middle of the room, which is surprisingly soft.

First off, holy shit. That skeleton has got some, well…skeletons in his closet. Although, since he’s a skeleton, would it be more appropriate to say that he has some organ systems in his closet?  
Well, whatever. That’s not what matters. What matters is that Sans isn’t nearly as dumb as I thought he was. Not that my rouse was ingenious – anyone paying attention would’ve seen right through it. And I thought Sans wasn’t paying attention at all.  
But what’s even worse is…what will Undyne be like? Now that I know that Sans is no slouch, I can only speculate as to how intelligent – and possibly powerful and threatening – this Undyne really is, who is apparently a female.  
Which also presents a problem. In my experience, men are much easier to lie to than women. Partly because of the fact that men are almost always distracted by something or other, and women have an infuriatingly persistent attention to detail – and what’s even worse is that I’m not a very good liar to begin with...

Either way, I’m just going to have to deal with this on the fly. Hopefully I can think up some other kind of lie, but until then, I’ll just have to stick it out. I really hope I’m wrong about how intelligent Undye is.

Well…whatever. I’m not getting anywhere for now.  
After a little while of looking around, I decide that my best option is to wait. I sit down on the comically small dog-bed with a sigh after pushing it against the wall, leaning against the smooth brick as I close my eyes and drift off.

I wake with a jolt as I hear the door to the small building opening. I sit up with a wince - my shoulder still hurts from trying to squeeze through the bars...

The door opens, and I can faintly hear Papyrus behind, by far, the most terrifying thing I've ever seen. It's a hulking soldier, with an intimidating shark-like helmet and crimson hair flowing out of its head. Well…where else would it flow from?

A moment of silence passes, and the soldier turns, and says something I can't quite make out. The soldier steps in, and the door closes and locks behind it with an audible click. I begin to sweat, and a lump forms in my throat. Is...is this Undyne? If so, she's...terrifying.

The armored monster turns around, and a spear materializes in its iron-clad fist. I think I let out a little whimper, but I'm pretty sure I didn't. I mean, I’m brave…-ish.

It slowly approaches the iron cage, its stomps sending vibrations though the floor that resonate with my teeth. I stand and press myself against the wall, hoping to keep out of the range of that nasty-looking spear.

The soldier stops just short of the gate, and reaches up to remove the helmet.

Yeah, okay, I definitely whimpered this time, it's a fucking fish monster with giant teeth! It can tear me apart! Fuck, what did I get myself into - this thing is going to kill me, I'm going to die, holy fucking ass balls I am so dead...

"Quit the act," comes the gruff, somewhat feminine voice. "I know you're trying to pull something - you're no child! You'd be more than strong enough to take on Papyrus, so why the hell did you just let yourself get captured?" ~~Godzilla's eyes~~ (Wait, Godzilla is a lizard...what would this be? I don't know my Japanese monsters, let's just call it Fish Face.)

Fish Face's eyes narrow as it jabs its spear through the bars towards me. "Huh? Just what are you planning? Tell me!"

In an ideal situation, I would simply stammer that I don't know what Fish Face is talking about. However, as someone that thoroughly enjoys programming, I am more than familiar with logic. And here's my logic:

Lie = spear.  
Spear = pain and/or death.

Truth = possible trust.  
Possible trust = not dying.

So, I spill the beans in a calm, orderly fashion.

"I was planning to trick you because I thought you'd be as innocent as Papyrus and so I'd trick you and try to get away so I could find a way to get out of the Underground and help a friend of mine escape too preferably without killing anything and even more preferably without losing my soul please, God, don't kill me!" I'm left out of breath, tears streaming down my cheeks as I cower before the shark of terror.

Good thing my dignity is still intact. Fractured and minimized, but intact.

The monster stares at me for a long time, before relinquishing its hold on the spear, at which point the weapon immediately disappears. It pulls out a pair of keys, and unlocks the iron gate.

"Please, I was telling the truth!" I exclaim, panicked as I scramble into a corner, trying to get away from the beast. "Please, I just -"

"Shut up, you fucking cry baby." I do as I'm told by the scary fish-monster. "My name is Undyne. And now, you're my prisoner."

So this _is_ Undyne! That means that it's female, so it's actually a scary fish lady.

Wonderful. Just what my life needed. A terrifying fish monster. Yay.

"And I believe you," she continues. "I also believe that you're a coward."

"Sometimes," I admit. I begin to stand, wiping tears away in shame. "I've just...never been threatened like that before..." I can barely lie my way out of being a pansy-ass. There’s no way in hell I’ll be able to get away from Undyne.

"Well, get used to it," she snarls. Grabbing a chain attached to her armor, Undyne produces a leashed set of handcuffs. I know there's no way around it, so I sigh as I approach, arms outstretched. She clamps the restraints on, ignoring me when I cringe in pain at how tight she's made them.

"Arms out," she grunts. "Spread your legs." I do as she says, and she quickly pats me down, pocketing my cellphone in a small pouch on her armor. "Give me your bag."

I hand over the backpack, and she pulls out the pie Toriel made for me. She observes it for a second before shrugging and putting it back into the bag, and returning the bag to me, after making sure it’s totally empy. "Alright, you're clean. Let's get going."

She tugs on the chain, and we exit the garage. Papyrus and Sans are waiting outside, and the taller skeleton immediately lets out a gasp.

"Undyne! Why would you put the human on a leash like that!? It must be very belittling!"

"He was trying to trick you, Papyrus. I can't trust him." Sans's pupils fade and his eyes are left totally, disturbingly blank. In quite the contrast, tears form in Papyrus's eyes. Somehow.

"Is that true, human!? Were you playing me, the great papyrus, for a fool!? I thought...we were friends!"

"We are!" I immediately reply, hoping to save a bit of face. "But I have another, very close friend relying on me - she's an orphan, and I'm kind of her guardian. I'd do almost anything to keep her safe."

For a moment, Undyne's expression softens, before returning to her familiar steely countenance. Maybe I could use that to my advantage somewhere down the line…

Papyrus grins, and Sans's pupils come back - thank goodness. "In that case, the great papyrus forgives you, and I am glad to have someone so devoted as my friend! Have fun with Undyne, human!"

I nod, and Undyne ushers me towards the outskirts of Snowdin. Somehow...I doubt I'll enjoy my time with this fishy.

The trek through the tundra is silent. I sigh as I reach into my pocket, and pull out my other cell-phone - the one from the surface - and open up Solitaire. Undyne didn't notice it because of how thin it is – and she also probably assumed that I only have one cell phone. Foolish fish – there is no limit to a human’s vanity.

"Hey - where'd you get that!?" Well, she’s noticed it now. She swipes it away, examining its touch screen with an intense glare. "Is this a cell-phone from the surface? How is it so thin!?"

"Technology," I respond. "Now, since you're not much of a conversation partner, could I have my phone back, please?" I hold out my hand, but quickly pull it back as Undyne spins to glare at me.

"What!?" Undyne bares her jaws as her shout shakes my teeth. After a moment of reorienting myself, I stare in shock at her clenched fist. "I'm an excellent conversation partner, we just haven't had a chance to speak yet!!" She notices my astonished look, and stares at the smoking phone in her fist with a slight grimace. "Oops...sorry 'bout that."

"Whatever," I sigh with a resigned shrug. "It's not like I'll need it where you're taking me, anyway...I won't have much use for it when I'm dead." I hope that I can use some passive aggression to guilt trip Undyne, but I doubt that would work.

”Yeah, you’re right,” she responds, pocketing the smoldering mess of metal. “So let’s hurry up and get there, so I don’t have to listen to you whine about it.” She tugs on the chain as she turns, and we continue walking, any prospect of conversation having been killed by that little ray of sunshine.

Oh, she is just so cheery. Her father must’ve been a sunfish, and her mother a dolphin!  
No, her mother was probably an angler fish and her father was probably a fucking megalodon. I sigh as I speed up a bit to keep up with her. This is going to be a long trip, isn’t it?

After what feels like an hour of walking, the snow starts to thin out, and is replaced by blue, slippery stone, and an entrance to what seems to be a tunnel. I can vaguely hear rushing water, and I realize that there must be an underwater waterfall near here. No wonder this cave is so big – a body of water feeds right into it…

We enter the tunnel, and my boredom gets the best of me as I stop paying attention, and start examining the walls and the interesting rock formations. There are no monsters, well, at least not yet, so I don't have to worry about any odd encounters.

Man, it’s really nice in here – it’s not too cold, it’s not too hot…then again, that may be Toriel’s flames keeping me warm. It might actually be freezing here. But it feels kind of humid, so maybe – agh!

”What the hell?” I ask, rubbing my nose. I had walked right into Undyne, who had stopped dead. “Why’d you –“ I lose my voice as I stare at what’s ahead of us.  
A wall of vines, covered in red thorns, blocks our path, and judging by Undyne’s reaction…this isn’t normal.

”Uh, Undyne?” I prod the fish lady. “You…okay?”

”What the hell…” She finally mutters. “Stand back a bit – I’ve got to get rid of this shit…”  
A spear materializes in her hand, and I take her advice. She takes a great swing, sending an arc of energy out towards the wall. I expect some fireworks, but all that happens is the vines shudder a bit as the energy simply fades upon contact.

Undyne seems shocked, and I start to grow nervous. Well, more nervous. What the hell is this stuff – and why does it seem so familiar…

”What the fuck is going on here!?” Undyne demands, asking no one in particular. When I don’t answer, she rounds on me, pointing the spear at me as rage burns in her eyes. I cower, as any rational human would. “What the hell did you do!?”

”Nothing!” I protest, holding my shackled hands up. “I’m in the same boat as you, I have no idea what’s –“

_Ring, ring…_

”What the –“ Undyne looks down at the pouch on her armor in disbelief. We remain silent, waiting for the phone to ring again.

_Ring, ring…_

Undyne rips open the pouch and removes the phone, glaring at me suspiciously as she checks the caller ID. “T…Toriel?” She stares at me with a frown, her eyes wide. “That…that’s the name of the Queen. She moved to the Ruins, she hasn’t been seen in…” She falls silent as the phone rings again, and immediately opens it and presses it to her ear, staring at me in confusion as she speaks with Toriel. I struggle to hear what Toriel is saying through the speaker, but I can’t quite make it out.  
“This is the Captain of the Royal Guard, my Queen. Why are you – what? Your Majesty, you’re going to have to – I can’t – my Queen, I don’t know what you’re – Simon? He’s right here, I’m taking him to – okay, I…I’ll put him on.” She turns to me, holding out the phone with a perplexed, and worried, expression. I take it, my heart hammering as I press it to my ear. I don’t know what to expect…

”Hello? Toriel?” I’m met with sobbing and sniffling. I cast a glance at Undyne before pressing a finger to my other ear so I can block out background noise. “Toriel, are you alright? What’s going on – is it Frisk?”

”Frisk is…Oh, Simon – Frisk, she’s…she’s…”

”What – what’s the matter? C’mon, Toriel, calm down and tell me, I have to – ” She tells me, and the world goes quiet. I’m vaguely aware of Undyne saying something, but I’m too focused on what Toriel says.

I barely notice the phone slipping from my hand, and clattering onto the ground. I stare ahead, shock stopping me from doing or saying anything as I struggle to come to terms with what I’ve heard. Frisk is…Frisk is…

### At the ruins…

”She’s dead,” Toriel finally manages to stammer into the phone, barely keeping her balance as she wobbles on her knees. The goat stares at the lifeless form of the child, suspended in the air by an immeasurable amount of barbed vines, each creating a new, dripping orifice in the body of the child. Blood pools in the grass beneath her, silently feeding the foliage.

”…Simon?” Toriel says into the phone, tearing her gaze away from the dead child. “Simon are you…are you there? Please, Simon, answer me, I…oh, Simon, please, just answer!”

The Queen of Monsters is reduced to hysterics as she falls to her hands, the phone trapped beneath her furry palm.

Behind her, a smiling flower returns to the earth, its eyes glowing with the power of the soul it had reaped. Chilling laughter fills the air of the Ruins, and the end begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You IDIOT.
> 
> In this world...it's troll or BE trolled!
> 
> I hope you liked it, I don't think I have Undyne's tone down just yet, but hopefully soon I will!


	4. Vulnerability

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon makes a choice.

The dark room absorbs my grief and confusion. Its hollow walls do nothing to answer my repeated question: who would kill a child?

My knees hugged to my chin, I bemoan how Frisk's life has been cut so...so short. She won't grow up to go to college, she won't have a first date, she'll never be married, she'll never have kids, and she'll never grow old.

And now, that life full of so much potential...it's gone. And it means nothing. She died for nothing - she was murdered in cold blood, and...and...

Jesus fuck…I thought I had seen enough children die in my lifetime. Apparently, the universe was of an opposing opinion. Now, another child whose death will mean absolutely nothing…

My fists clench. They clench so hard I can almost feel my nails puncturing skin. I stand, my knees shaking and my legs weak - but I keep walking.

I won't let her die for nothing. Not like them.

Toriel and Undyne both turn away from the makeshift headstone under which Frisk's body is buried in surprise as I throw the front door to Toriel's home open, causing a crashing sound that announces my determination.

"Simon, wha-"

"I'm not going to let Frisk die for nothing." I announce. I grab the shovel leaning against the house.

"Simon, what the hell are you talking about!?" Undyne demands, taking a step towards me, a spear appearing in her hand. "You can't just dig up her grave - that's...that's...it's just fucked up!"

"You need a seventh human soul," I continue, ignoring Undyne's outburst. "We'll use Frisk's."

"Absolutely not!" I recoil in surprise as a ring of fire appears around me. Undyne takes a step back as Toriel marches towards me. "I will not let you have this child's soul!"

"It's not up to you!" I shout at her, my grip on the shovel tightening. Tears form in the corners of my eyes.

"And it's not up to you, either!" Toriel responds. "It would be up to her!"

"And this is what she would want!"

"And how are you so sure!?"

"Because she told me!"

The fires die down, and Undyne's eyebrows hike up. "Wh...wha-?" Fresh tears form in Toriel's eyes. "Simon, Frisk is...she can't have..."

"She did. A long time ago. She said if she ever died, to make sure that I use her soul for good. I thought she was just making jokes, or...or being an over-imaginative kid. Maybe she was. But now? Now, I can actually do as she asked." I take a step forward. "So, I'll say it again, Toriel: this isn't up to you."

The fires finally die away as Toriel sighs, and retreats, a defeated look on her face. I nod as I approach, but Undyne stops me.

"Don't bother," she sighs.

"And why the hell not?"

"Whatever killed her took her soul. It's already gone. I noticed it as soon as it got here, I've seen the six human souls before, so I know what they feel like. I felt yours, but not hers. I didn't mention it earlier because...it didn't seem appropriate."

It clicks. A monster stole her soul. There were vines blocking the way into the caverns by Snowdin. "Flowey," I spit.

"Excuse me?" Undyne asks, perplexed.

"It was Flowey!" I roar, tossing the shovel down. It bounces a bit, and hits me in the shin. I whine in pain as I go down, holding my leg. "Fuck!" I shout through gritted teeth. I hit the shovel with my heel in misdirected rage, repeating the expletive over and over again as I cry. "Fucking Flowey!"

"You need to calm down, stop throwing a fucking tantrum, and explain who the hell Flowey is! Now!" Undyne shouts, firmly grabbing me by the shoulders. I sigh as I collect myself and stand, my shin still throbbing in a dull phantasm of pain. I shrug off Undyne’s hands, and she backs off with a huff.

"Flowey is...what I first met in the Underworld. He's a small, yellow flower, he’s got a smile but it turns into a fucked up face. God damnit…" I shake my head and stare at the child’s grave. "I should've grabbed a rock and ground him into paste when I had the chance..."

“Simon!” I look to Toriel. “I am…I’m surprised and disappointed to hear you say that, child.”

“How could you be?” I ask, astounded. “Flowey murdered Frisk – if I had killed him, this never would have happened.”

“EXaCTLY!” I spin around at the sound of the demonic flower’s voice, my teeth bared as instincts thought long abandoned kick in and I release a low growl. Toriel and Undyne react similarly, both of them readying their means of defense – Toriel’s fist is aflame, and Undyne holds her spear aloft, ready to stick the demonic shrub. “IN THiS WOrlD, IT’S KIlL Or bE KiLLeD!”

My eyes widen, and my growling dies in my throat. I take a step back, my legs turning to jelly as I struggle to stand upright. This thing before me…it’s not a flower.

It’s a beast.

The flower’s roots have thickened, and support its “face” a few centimeters off the ground, skipping a stem altogether. A few thin vines grow where there were once yellow petals, writhing and gesticulating madly with sporadic neurological signals.

It’s enough to make me want to hide behind Toriel and Undyne. So I do just that.

“You are so useless!” Undyne barks at me. I simply nod, feeling totally helpless as three thick, barbed vines burst from the ground before Flowey’s mess of tentacles.

“AND NoW, I’LL TAKE YOUR SoULS, TOO!!” It begins to laugh manically, and the vines arc and shoot towards us. Undyne and Toriel prepare to slash and burn the vines, and I close my eyes as I fearfully anticipate excruciating pain.

For what feels like an eternity, I feel nothing – a slight breeze on my skin, fear down my spine. A brief thought passes through my mind: am I dead?

But that changes when I hear a familiar voice.

"Sorry to tell you, but that’s not gonna happen, buddy.”

“Sans?” Undyne and I ask at the same time. I look towards the source of the voice, and see that the skeleton is standing behind Flowey, his hand outstretched and his eye glowing a sharp blue. The same glow surrounds Flowey, the beast’s face contorted in an expression of rage.

“Who the hell is Sans?” Toriel asks, clearly distraught. “Wait…I think I know that voice…”

“And I know your voice, too. But let’s catch up after we deal with this overgrown weed, huh?”

“OH, SHuT UP, YoU WALKING GARBaGE BAG!” Flowey exclaims. “YOU CaN’t SToP ME NOW, I HaVE A HuMAN SOUL!!”

“Hate to break it to you, buddy. But that won’t matter. Because when I’m done with you…” Sans’s eye grow brighter “…you’ll be totally boned.” A half dozen almost goat-shaped skulls appear around Flowey, and they all release a huge blast of energy, right at the demon flower. I stand, eyes wide in awe as I feel the amazing power coming off of the skeleton and his weaponry.

When the skulls are gone, all that’s left is scorched earth and a wilted flower. The three of us stand there, completely shocked.

“Get dunked on, you fucking flower,” the skeleton spits at the dead monster.

“Sans…how…” Undyne stammers, completely stunned. Before anything else can be said, the wilted flower begins to laugh. Realizing that it is completely vulnerable now, I grab a rock from the ground and begin to approach.

“No – don’t kill it,” Undyne whispers, holding out her spear to stop me. “If you kill it, we might lose the soul. We need to capture it, and bring it to Alphys so that she can extract the human soul from it.”

I nod, and drop the stone, stepping back so Undyne can do her thing.

“You…you idiots…” The flower wheezes.

“Shut up, you fucking flower,” Undyne spits, grasping the shovel as she prepares to dislodge the plant from the ground. “And stand still.”

It turns, glaring at Undyne with its demonic face. “You seriously think you can stop me!? I’ll get the other souls, and kill all of – ach!” It releases a cry of dismay as Undyne digs into the earth nearby and unearths the plant.

“That’s what you get for talking, and not just running away,” Undyne berates it. “Toriel do you have a flower pot?”

“Yes – I’ll get it now,” she responds, hurrying into her house to retrieve one.

“Oh, geeze, that’s Toriel? As in, Queen Toriel?” Beads of sweat appear on Sans’s head, somehow.

“Yeah, what about it?” Undyne asks, harshly grabbing Flowey by the stem.

“Ow! That hurt, you crazy fish!”

“Shut up, you fucking flower.”

Sans laughs a little bit at Flowey’s expense. I silently bemoan the fact that I can’t have the joy of slowly killing it.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Undyne points out.

“We’ve been sharing awesome jokes for a while now. It’s become a regular thing – but now, knowing that she’s the Queen…” He shrugs. “It’s kinda intimidating.”

“Intimidating!?” Undyne barks, laughing heartily as she drops the shovel, holding Flowey aloft in a small clump of soil. “You just slaughtered this thing – I’ve never seen anything like it – and you’re intimidated!? Seriously, how strong are you!?” She stops laughing, and stares at Sans. “And if you’re this strong…how strong is Papyrus!?”

“Believe it or not, he’s way stronger. He just doesn’t like using his full power – he’s not a violent guy. One could say he’s the em _boney_ ment of pure pacifism.”

A moment of silence passes, and we all stare at Sans. “That…was terrible,” Flowey announces.

“I gotta agree with the flower,” Undyne begrudgingly admits. “That was your worst one yet.”

“Everyone’s a critic. I mean, I thought it was pretty…humerus.”

We all remain silent. I mean, I love puns, but this…this isn’t humor. This is…I don’t even know what this is.

Sans grins at the silence. “Oh, come on, don’t go givin’ me the cold _scapula_!”

I have to admit, I giggle a bit at that one. “I don’t get it,” Undyne announces.

“The scapula is the anatomical term for the bone that makes the shoulder blade,” I inform her. I begin to ramble, as is my wont. “Maybe clavicle would’ve been better, but…whatever. Wait, no, the clavicle is the collar bone, so...well, I mean, the shoulderblade is the scapula, but the actual shoulder is just where the ball and socket joint between the humerus and the torso bulges out, but that is also sort of the scapular region to a certain degree. I mean, then again, the shoulder is actually mostly muscle and tendon, at least, the shoulder you can feel, and that's partly the trapezius muscle. But at the same time, the clavicle does act as an anchoring point for the tendons there, so maybe what you feel is actually a bunch of tendons connected to the scapula, the humerus, the clavicle, and possibly the neck?” Thankfully, Undyne stops me by placing her hand over my mouth. Surprisingly, it's not slimy and gross like you'd express a fish's hand to be - it actually feels more like a snake than anything. Yes, I've felt snakes before, and I think that they're awesome.

“How do you know all of that anatomy, Simon?” I have a mini heart-attack as Toriel poses the question, having silently exited her house.

“Jesus, at least announce when you’re arriving,” I mutter.

“Apologies.” She gives me a gentle smile. “But how do you know so much? I thought you said you worked at the orphanage – I wouldn’t think that you’d know enough about your own skeleton to understand such…humerus jokes.”

Sans laughs, and Toriel grins. I roll my eyes – they’re perfect for each other.

Until you remember that one of them is a goat, and one a skeleton. I sigh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever – answer the question, Simon,” Undyne demands as she accepts the small ceramic pot from Toriel, which has already been filled with dirt, and begins packing Flowey into the soil.

“Hey – watch the roots, lady!” Undyne ignores him.

"Really, it's not that much knowledge - it's just some stuff that I know, y'know?"

"Yes, but you rattled it off as if it was second nature. Have you...have you been totally honest about your origins, Simon?" Toriel asks. She's clearly disappointed in the thought that I lied to her about who I really am, so I sigh and decide to dispel any doubts she has.

“Well, I volunteered at…” The sadness comes back, the small reprieve from thinking about the death of a child having left. “I…I volunteered at Frisk’s orphanage. I was taking a…a, uh, ‘break’ from my real job.”

“Okay, and what’s your real job?” Undyne asks, holding Flowey’s pot against her side. “Come on – give us some answers, dammit!”

“I was getting to that,” I respond, harshly. “Geeze…my real job is in a research facility. I’m a Computer Engineer – I’m helping to work on facilitating a connection between the human brain and prosthetics, so that limbs could be replaced with functioning robotic counterparts.”

“So you’re an egghead!?” Undyne cries, apparently shocked. “No wonder you’re such a whimp!” She begins to laugh, the shaking causing Flowey to appear somewhat nauseous.

I’m about to respond when Toriel speaks up. “I don’t understand. Why would you be on vacation from your job? It sounds like it would be difficult, but…it doesn’t seem as if it warrants extended vacation.”

I take a deep breath. I had a feeling one of them would ask. “I, uh…I’d rather not talk about it,” I respond.

“No can do, kid. You’re gonna tell me, now.” Undyne announces, taking a menacing step forward. I recoil in shock.

“Wait – what? Why?”

“’Cus I an’t travelling with someone that keeps secrets from me!” She explains, seemingly impatient. “Now, come on, out with it – what got you fired, huh?”

“I wasn’t fired!” I protest. “I was given vacation because of…” I sigh, and shake my head. “I don’t need to tell you – it doesn’t matter. Now, come on – let’s get going, we have to bring that thing to Alphys, right? Whoever that is?”

“No, you’re going to tell me, now,” Undyne announces, a spear materializing in her hand.

“Undyne! There is hardly a need for that!” Toriel protests.

“Uh, Sans? A little help, man?” I look to the skeleton to support, but find that he’s fallen asleep standing up. I roll my eyes, but decide to let him sleep – there’s no telling what kind of toll using that much power had on his body.

“I’d call him lazy, but…” Undyne seems to follow the same train as thought as I do. “But still. You’re going to tell me. Now.”

Our eyes lock, and the fierce determination that burns within her one visible eye shocks me. There’s no way in hell she’ll let me go until I tell her exactly what happened.

“Fine,” I sigh. “Fine…I’ll tell you.”

“Simon, you don’t have to,” Toriel says, softly. She turns to Undyne. “Can’t you just trust him, Undyne?”

“The first time we met, he tried to trick Papyrus and myself. There’s no chance that I’ll trust him.” Toriel remains silent. Seems like I have no choice now.

I take a deep breath as I begin to explain.

“In order to make the prosthetics work, we needed pristine human brains – live human brains that could learn incredibly quickly. The best source for such a brain was…children.”

“You experimented on children!?” Undyne demands. Toriel’s eyes widens, as she’s clearly appalled. “You cut open their skulls and messed with their brains!?"

“It was non-invasive,” I protest. “For the most part. Besides, we tested the concepts on simpler organisms first – like rats, and monkeys.”

“But why children?” Toriel asks, distraught. “Why experiment on innocence itself?”

“Partly because they could learn faster, and…partly because they were the easiest volunteers to get ahold of.” I sigh. “We…found families that had young children with terminal illnesses, and that were born without limbs, or had to have them removed for medical reasons. We thought that…if we made these limbs work, they could make these kids’ lives better for whatever small period of time they had left.” I smile wistfully at such a hope.

“As you can imagine, their parents were more than eager to sign consent forms if it meant letting their children have a better life before they…” My throat catches, and tears begin to form. The list of names I had recited over and over again replays in my head.

“So…you succeeded? Is that why you were given vacation?” Toriel asks, hope clear in her voice. Undyne stares at me, and I notice some kind of softness in her eye. Flowey simply sits there and pouts, clearly upset at being caught, and too afraid to attack with Sans so nearby, regardless of whether or not the skeleton is conscious.

“Most of the time we succeeded, yeah,” I admit. “But…that’s not why…I was given vacation. The whole team was given vacation, actually.” I sigh, my voice shaky as I continue. “I suppose ‘vacation’ is not a good word for it. ‘Medical leave’ is probably better, because…” I take a deep breath, remembering their innocent faces as they passed.

“They all died, in the end. There was no cure for any of them – either they were born with terrible cancers, or something else, just…awful stuff…some of them were so young – fuck, they were all so young…some of them were eight or nine, but…God, some of them were just three or four…” I take a shaky breath. I remember when little Timmy’s parents didn’t bring him for his weekly checkup after four weeks of never missing an appointment. He was seven years old, and he was the sweetest kid I had ever met. All he wanted to do was play with LEGOs and pick his nose…

“Did you manage to make any of them happy?” Undyne asks, softly. I’m surprised that the question came from her, but I’m glad that it came at all.

“Y-yeah,” I respond. “But…I was the one who spent the most time with the kids, I was in charge of adjusting the devices for them, and helping them get used to using them, along with another one of my colleagues…” I rub at my mouth, a nervous tick that I have that only shows up when I’m especially distressed.

“But some of the parents…they wanted us there when the kids passed. They wanted the team there, because we all spent so much time with the kids, to make them feel…safe. Safe as they…as they were taken by something nobody could protect them against.” I rub my mouth again, and feel moisture. I didn’t realize I had started crying. “Some of them…that had prosthetic arms, they…they…” A sob wracks my body. I remember Nallhia, how happy she was when she could finally use two hands to play with her toys, and use one hand to hold down a piece of paper while she wrote with the other, how she could read faster without having to carefully manipulate her books…

“They wanted me to hold their hands,” I finally manage to sputter. I rub my eyes, feeling like a small child again as I cry, completely vulnerable to the world around me as I remember the fear in the children’s eyes as they died, how scared they were when they felt their minds slipping, how terribly afraid they were when they just could not understand why they felt their worlds dimming…

“If you were given vacation from kids dying, why’d you volunteer at an orphanage?” Undyne asks, a clearly perturbed expression working its way across her face.

“Because…I figured that…if I could help orphans find a loving home, I’d…I’d help them for the rest of their lives, and not…not just for a few months, or weeks, or even days…” I look down at Frisk’s grave. “…I was wrong.”

I’m surprised when I feel a huge mass wrapping itself around me, and a pleasant aroma filling my surroundings. I look up and notice that Toriel has engulfed me in a hug. I smile gently as I return the hug, grateful for the warm embrace.

“Simon, I…I’m glad I’ll be travelling with you,” Undyne announces, unexpectedly.

“Wha?” I manage to ask as Toriel eventually releases me.

“And I am very sorry for forcing your hand to reveal such memories, although I must thank you for trusting us so," Toriel announces. I nod to her, but return to the main problem here.

"Undyne…what d’you mean? Why would you be glad to travel with me - I thought you had no use for me?”

“Because you’ve got determination!” She exclaims, giving me a little jolt of surprise. She adopts a sort of fighting stance, clenching her fist in front of her. “You’re not just some whimp – you’re a nerd with a strong soul, and I respect that!” She grins as she grabs my arm. “Now, let’s go – let’s make sure you help Frisk one last time! Let’s get this flower to Alphys!” She turns her attention to Toriel. “You’ll watch my armor for me, Your Highness?”

Toriel nods, and bids me farewell as Undyne quickly ushers me through the house, and out into Snowdin.

Well…that was…abrupt. Although I suppose it spares me from having to say goodbye to Frisk. Then again, her soul is currently inside of Flowey, so…I suppose that I haven’t really left her behind.

I sigh and compose myself, wiping away the tears I’ve shed as I focus on keeping up with Undyne, who still has me by the arm. I glance at Flowey, and wonder what he’s planning there in his pot. I gulp nervously, as I’m not too sure I want to know what he hopes will happen in…wherever it is we’re going.

Either way, I suppose this is for the best. I have to keep moving – if I were to just stay there and bemoan the misery of loss, I’d be lost within my own mind. So this is best for both Frisk, and my own health.

So now…into the breach.

### Back at Toriel’s…

Toriel stands, no longer kneeling in front of Frisk’s grave. She’s decided that it’s time to move on, and continue to guard the Ruins.

“…wha? What happened? What’d I miss?”

“Oh, Mr. Sans! You’re awake!” Toriel exclaims, surprised. “I am glad to see that you’re okay.”

“oh, yeah. uh…where’d the human and Undyne go?”

“Oh, they’ve gone to –”

_CRASH_

Both Toriel and Sans cringe, and after sharing a shocked expression, quickly enter Toriel’s house to check what the sound was. When they find it, Sans begins to snicker, and Toriel releases a deep sigh.

“Oh, my…” She mutters, staring at the collapsed piece of armor that had been haphazardly placed on the coffee table in Toriel’s reading room. The rest of the pieces of armor are strewn about, clearly placed quickly and without regard for organization.

“I guess being organized doesn’t quite _suit_ Undyne, does it? I’m surprised, she always struck me as someone that’s _eely_ organized. I mean, she’s always _floundering_ about, yelling at me for my messiness. Toriel releases a snort of laughter, and Sans, growing nervous at making jokes with the Queen of all Monsters, and having realized that she’s rather becoming – well, that’s neither here nor there. Either way, in his nervousness, he releases his greatest joke of all.

“Hehe, yeah. She’s a fish.

A moment of silence passes between them, sweat covering Sans’s face as he avoids looking Toriel in the eye. After a little while of uncomfortable silence, Sans clears his throat. “Anyway…I should probably get going. Y’know…don’t want them to get hurt by Flowey in case he gets his strength back. I’ll just…lag behind so I don’t scare them or anything. Anyway, uh…seeya.”

Toriel reciprocates the farewell, and Sans hastily exits. Toriel smiles to herself, and grabs a book entitled “101 Uses for Snails” from her coffee table and sits in her chair, smiling to herself as she tries to convince herself that everything is okay.

But she fails, and within a moment, her smile falters. After it falters, it disappears, and as her lips begin to quiver, she drops the book and places her face into her paws, sobbing loudly and shaking, silently repeating to herself that she had failed, and that she had lost yet another child.

The Queen of all Monsters simply sits there and cries, and for a very long time, she’s the most vulnerable being in the Undergrond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, didja like it? Didja didja didja?
> 
> Sorry if Simon's backstory is a bit overblown, but I kinda one hundred percent adore this backstory, and knew that I was going to use it no matter what. Plus, I don't know if you caught this, bu it kinda makes Simon a bit selfish: he didn't volunteer at the orphanage solely to help kids, he volunteered at the orphanage so he could help kids so he would feel better about himself, which is an important distinction from "I WANT TO HELP ALL THE CHILDREN, BRING ME ALL THE CHILDREN"
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Bonus: here's a little exchange between Undyne and Simon that I scrapped:
> 
>  
> 
> “So you’re an egghead!?” Undyne cries, apparently shocked. “No wonder you’re such a whimp!” She begins to laugh, the shaking causing Flowey to appear somewhat nauseous.
> 
> "Oh, suck a fat cock," I mutter.
> 
> "Well, you'll have to find me one, 'cus I don't think yours will do!" Undyne exclaims, now roaring with laughter.
> 
> "It's not that skinny," I mumble, blushing as I look away.
> 
>  
> 
> I think you can see why I scrapped it. It didn't fit the tone.

**Author's Note:**

> If you got this far, thanks for reading!
> 
> I know the beginning is a bit choppy, but I promise it will only get better. As I said, I've never been that good with beginnings.
> 
> I don't care about likes as much as I do comments!! Please comment on the quality of my writing, and tell me what you think, and tell me how I could make it more enjoyable - or don't.
> 
> Also, be prepared, I'm probably going to end up treating you as if you were my friends in these note sections. Which means a shitload of sarcasm.


End file.
